I see you. You are tired. You do not see an end to the exhaustion. You are feeling and doing everything you can to make it from one day to the next. You are fighting battles that some do not see. You are giving and giving and feel like you might break any day now.
I see you.
This is not a fluffy and cute blog post about how you “should” do this or that to take care of yourself. Nope. Today is a radical call to action. Today you are not choosing “me time”, but simply choosing yourself. Here are some things that you can do to radically accept yourself as deserving and needing of self-care:
- Say no! Stop saying yes or maybe when you really mean, or really need to be saying no.
- Savor your actions. Take deep breaths. Take a little longer shower. Slow down and enjoy your meals instead of rushing to take care of others. Savor it, and be present.
- Stop apologizing so much! Obviously we need to be nice to others, but don’t apologize for taking time for yourself! Don’t apologize for your existence. Don’t apologize for taking up space. Be here, and fill the room with your presence.
- Accept things as they are. Stop swimming upstream. Blow up your metaphorical inner tube, grab your favorite beverage, and ride out what is happening. Radical acceptance is allowing ourselves to accept the things that we cannot change and making peace with that.
- Forgive. Not for other people’s benefit, but because you deserve to not carry that weight around. Choose love over fear, anger, and sadness.
- End the war within yourself. Are you constantly struggling with thoughts that are blaming or mean towards yourself? Try this exercise: draw the strong warrior that is within you. Illustrate the epic scene of the inner you attacking and ending the war with the blaming and mean thoughts that are always trying to beat you up. Alternatively, you could write a short story about yourself taking control of your personal self-talk. At a minimum, fight back, you deserve to be kind to yourself.
- Celebrate the little accomplishments. Cross those items proudly off your to-do list. Feeling unaccomplished? Put items on your to-do list that you have already accomplished then happily appreciate that moment and cross those items off of your list.
- Put yourself on your to-do list every day. For everyone, this looks different. Maybe it is meditation, exercise, yoga, a bubble bath, doing meal prep for the week, time with a book, etc. Doing these actions once does not make us well, practicing them daily enhances our wellbeing.
- Love yourself and accept the complexities that make you unique. Choose this empowering narrative rather than attacking yourself for who you are.
- Make conscious choices. We rarely have to make fast decisions so slow down. Others can wait while we get the best understanding of what we need for ourselves.
Bottom line: Preserve yourself, make choices that take care of your mind and body, and make these choices ongoing and sustainable. Choose this act of liberation, and stop putting yourself last.